the background didn't exactly turn out like how i wanted it to. i guess my random brushing skills failed this time. i think the background turned out kind of bad and i'm just too lazy to redo it. i guess the only part of the bg i like is the scanlines --".

so.. how's it? different style from the previous one, i hope i didn't fail too badly. i'm going to try making one with c4ds next time, and there might be some amount of smudging i guess. and... i suck at smudging! so be warned... 

today's the last day of school, got back our report card. i'm supposed to be happy since that was my target in the first place. but when i think about that ss which continues to haunts me even half a year, i just can't get really happy. i'm happy but just... well... happy. i guess i should think more positively, 3.9 means that i have done well but there is still room for improvement so i'll continue to work hard and do better next year. if i got 4.0 i might have just got complacent. i'm trying to console myself but apparently it isn't working too well. forget it. good enough. next year will be better.

it's been 2 years but i feel nothing for the class. how sad. even in year 2, there was some tinge of sadness and unwillingness, and feelings of i'm-going-to-miss-you. it makes me wonder what i have been doing for the past 2 years. is the class really unbonded or is it just me, unwilling to socialise and make new friends in the past 2 years. for 2 years, since year 3 , i had new classmates but not new friends. i'm jealous of other classes - presents, hugs, tears. 

next year, i'll be all alone in a different class from the rest ( unless i so luckily manage to be in same class as lx ). if it has been my problem all along, how am i going to survive the next 2 years? i survived these 2 years because i have had friends from year 1 and 2. come next year, they'll be gone. i, alone with unfamiliar faces, filled with uncertainties. it makes me shudder just thinking about it. yes, i am afraid but fret not, i will survive and thrive by all means.

so should u..